Picturing The Impossible A Jacob & Bella ONESHO
by Emma Dreams
Summary: A little one shot about a different twist in New Moon when Bella said good-bye to Jacob before going save her true love.


**A/N: I speak Spanish, so I'm sorry for the mistakes. PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

Picturing The Impossible

_Extract from page 422 (New Moon):_

Alice turned for the car, disappearing in her haste. I hurried after her, pausing automatically to turn and lock the door.

Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand. "Please, Bella. I'm begging."

His dark eyes were glistering with tears. A lump filled my throat.

"Jake, I have to---"

"You don't, though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me." The engine of Carlisle's Mercedes purred; the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it impatiently.

I shook my head, tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion. I pulled my arm free, and he didn't fight me.

"Don't die, Bella," he coked out. "Don't go. Don't."

What if I never saw him again?

The thought pushed me past the silent tears; a sob broke out from my chest. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged for one too-short moment, burying my tear-wet face against his chest. He put his big hand on the back of my hair, as if to hold me there.

"Don't do it, Bella. Don't go. Stay with me, just stay." I could hear his non-rhythmic way of breathing, and after some seconds the trail of salty water that touched my skin.

"Please, Jake," I choked, trying my best to not think of how I was breaking my best friend's heart. "Please, I need to go. I'm sorry, I need to go…"

His hands were tight on my neck, keeping me close to him. His warm temperature making this good-bye even more unbearable.

Carlisle's Mercedes roared again – almost a shrieking sound. But I couldn't let him here alone, not yet, not like this.

"You don't need to go, Bella. You _don't_. You are blinded, that's why you want to go. But… have you ever thought what could have happened if you didn't jump off that cliff?" His voice felt husky in my ear, and that made the pain in my chest grow even more.

"Jake…" I breathed, trailing off. I wasn't sure what to say, what would be good to say. Because the truth was, that I had thought about that. But what good would it do saying it now?

He breathed deeply. "Answer me, please."

"Yes, I have." I said in a mere whisper.

His hands tightened more around my neck, pulling me even closer to him – though it seemed impossible.

"And what have you thought?" I knew he was smiling - I knew him just too well.

I had thought lots of things. Things I'd never have thought I could actually think again. Things that implied _me_ living again. Me smiling, me enjoying the breeze, the rain… But I couldn't say it out loud; I couldn't give him false hopes. The only thought of knowing I'd been just mere seconds from hearing _his_ voice again, even from the phone, was pure torture.

"It doesn't matter Jake, it's just…"

"That you love him? Is it that? That you would die yourself for saving him? Even if he's leaven you here, alone in the first place?" His voice came angry, his arms shaking a bit.

"I don't know what to think anymore, Jake. I truly don't know what to think… But I do know I love him, and I do know I love you too. But—"

He cut me off, his voice sarcastic this time. "But in different ways, right?"

I shrugged in his arms, and then nodded. The horn of the Mercedes sounded again, and I was with every second passing by even more impatient.

"She just can't leave that shut for some seconds, can she?" Jacob muttered, turning his eyes to Alice with furiousness.

I sighed. "Jake, I need to go. I need to find him; it's killing me. If you care about me---"

But a bitter laugh of his lips cut my sentence off one more time. "If I care about you, Bella?" He took my face with one big hand and stared deeply into my eyes. "I'd _die_ for you. Every damn second of this damn life, I'd die for you. Don't you come here with the 'if-you-care-about-me' babbling, because hell you do know how I do!"

I gulped in response to his tough words. Each one of them filling me with an enormous guilt. And just there I broke again – the tears too determined to wet every inch of my torn face.

"I-I'm so sorry, Jacob. I am…" I cried, making my best to say the words slowly.

He shook his head over my own. "Don't. Just--- do me a favor, that's all I'm asking."

I thought it for some seconds, but I couldn't deny that to him. I only prayed it wasn't something that I couldn't do. I nodded slowly.

"Just picture us… You and me in some years. A little house in the middle of La Push and Forks, the same distance between the two so our dads wouldn't argue… The delicious taste of wood and grass all around us… The sun in the sky and the clouds other times… And then us there, laughing about nothing. Holding hands beyond the stars, enjoying the moon. Your beautiful cheeks colored with red because I would be every damn minute telling you how beautiful you are, how much you complete me… My chest warming you at nights, protecting you from any danger. My spirit giving hope to your soul every time you feel sad… And then the years passing by, and we'd decide to get married. A tiny wedding with our love ones, my beautiful bride walking through the aisle, and I waiting for her with the biggest goofy smile of all times. Feeling so happy… And then, some time you'd get pregnant with little Jacobs or Bellas. I hope it would be a Jacob, because I would be too much of a sheriff if it was a Bella – I'd need to have a gun with all the boys that would want to be with her, being as beautiful as her mother is. And then aging together, Bella. Having every one of our love ones here with us, enjoying this beautiful life together with them. Do you see it, Bella? Can you picture it?"

But I couldn't say anything. My eyes were shut, my mouth hanging open, my body totally transferred to another time, to another world. I was in Jacob's arms in this woody house, laughing as we saw our little children eating chocolate cake. And I was alive; I could feel the blood pulsating through my veins. Shouting LOVE in every inch of them.

"Can you, Bell? Do you?" His face came closer to mine as he kept whispering those same questions. "Just you and me, Bell. I love you. Always have and always will."

And I couldn't move. My body was completely frozen, completely shocked. My heart started to beat faster as Jacob's face approximated to mine even more, not leaving even an inch between us. Thousands of thoughts flashed through my mind in a second. One was that Alice should be now closing and opening her eyes, feeling the unsteady of this close future - feeling my internal debate. Edward appeared clear in some of them, a lot more than just a few.

But something inside me wanted to have Jacob's face in the place it was right now, with his nose almost brushing mine. His woody scent, so familiar, so happy once – sweeping away my sense. Pulling me closer to him.

And I just needed to do it. I needed to do this for him, and for me. I needed this more than I would ever admit. Maybe it was gratitude - an immense gratitude to him for having saved me, for having been with me in the darkest of my times, for baring with me through every single day and night of my pathetic existence during these months. I didn't know exactly what this feeling meant, but I did know that I needed this in this moment as much as I needed to breathe.

In a second I relaxed my neck that I didn't know I had it tense in the first place – restraining him from me. And I let it be…

His eyes were sweet on mine as he gently brushed my lips with his, transmitting me every sincere feeling he had towards me. And every sincere strength for me to hold on here, now. He knew how difficult this was for me; I could feel it in his eyes. So he was trying to help me, he was trying to make me see that I wasn't alone here. And that this was the right thing to do.

His hands brushed my hair in a gentle way, bringing his lips a bit closer to mine. And without even thinking it twice, I suddenly found myself grabbing his neck with both of my hands – shaky hands.

The kiss had grown a bit stronger, always respecting its softness - when I froze again. But this time it was because I knew it, I was sure of it. I loved Jacob, I truly loved him.

But he wasn't Edward. He wasn't the love of my life, the man of my dreams. He wasn't the one I would give my heart again and again no matter how many times he would break it. He wasn't the one I would stay awake for all eternity just to see him existing. The one I would never, ever recover if I knew he wasn't touching this world anymore. He wasn't the one that was now in Volterra begging to vanish off this complex world just for some stupid thing I had done.

"Jacob…" I choked, separating my lips from his. I wanted to go on with the sentence, to tell him what I'd just thought myself. But I couldn't. Not after seeing those chocolate eyes hurting in an immense way after my sudden action.

His eyes met the floor in that same instant. "I know. You don't have to explain anything to me, I know it." His voice gained again a husky edge toward the end. And then, slowly, he released my torso with sad hands.

"I am sorry. I do love you, you know that?" That was something that I would like to state clearly. My mind added there; _And if Edward has never existed, you would be my choice. My best and only choice._

He nodded quietly, and then his eyes got lost in some trail of thought. He spoke just seconds later, when the impatience had overwhelmed my body again.

"Go save him. But then come back, because I'll be here Bells. I'll always be here fighting for you, for your life, for your love. I love you, I'll always do. And I know that if I work hard enough you'll love me as much as I do. I know it, Bells. Just come back, come back to me…"

With those words coming from his lips I gave him one last hug – full of too many different emotions. Some I couldn't even understand myself.

"I will," I breathed as I stormed to Carlisle's Mercedes to go find my true love. Though something of his last speech wandered inside me when Alice was already pulling me inside the car with impatient hands. _And I know that if I work hard enough you'll love me as much as I do._ Would I? And with that, we lost Forks' little streets through our windows.

THE END


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